And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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