I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
