is your mom at the bar?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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