i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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