and she was petting her beer can
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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