What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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