Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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