You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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