He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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