It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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