dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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