Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize