it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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