I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
