his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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