DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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