Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She even gives head with a lisp.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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