your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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