Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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