And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
