Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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