What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its about making memories worth repressing
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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