Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just want to make out with him forever
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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