The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
smell my finger.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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