Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
