I like my sex mixed with concussions.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
