Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
