My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
