so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
