a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
