Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
