I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
