At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
