You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
