So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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