tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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