it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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