loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
