Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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