break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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