the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
