Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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