Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
