So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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