the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We have started to decorate penises.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
