I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
