I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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