we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
