Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
