Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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