Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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