and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
