So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
