All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
