So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
