last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
