no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
