he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
