Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
