i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
