Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
