We're facebook friends in real life
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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