she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize