If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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