On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
This baby is an asshole
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
